I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
