I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
