I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize