Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
