It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize