My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
