I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
