yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
So here I am, sexting at work.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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