sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
