just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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