nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
