I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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