you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
The adults are the big ones right?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
