just come out here and I will go home with you...
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
