Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Randomize