So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize