I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
