break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
