that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
There's always time for handjobs
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
