I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
