I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
i drank out of a bidet.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
