from now on my penis is your penis
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize