1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
