I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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