her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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