ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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