I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
