I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
