Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Dicks are not precious.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
