the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm getting married
To pizza
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
