It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
