she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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