When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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