Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize