i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
