Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
should my penis look like a turkey
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
