im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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