I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
