doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Randomize
