I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
