New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
