do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
