...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
