Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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