I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
