before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
