He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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