so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
i think i just lost a toe
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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