I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize