I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
