i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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