I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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