there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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