I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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