I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
You know, be my cock's hype man.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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