At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Never let your siblings swipe right.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
