i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
her facebook's as public as her vagina
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Randomize
