In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
