You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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