So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
