I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
where am i from again
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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