My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
