did you get engaged???
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
