I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize