There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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