my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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