You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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