I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
