I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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