I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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