you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Randomize