dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
not ubering you a puppy
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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