boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
